June 22nd
I've been working for hours on this page today but I really feel like it's coming together. Every time I add more to this site I feel like I learn something new. There's like a billion things I wanna add. Each page takes sooo long and I have so many ideas for pages and the sections within them. I wonder if anyone's reading this? I can't imagine they are. I feel like i'm speaking into the void.
ps. why is blinkie/button/stamp/favicon 'shopping' SO addictive?!
June 23rd
I didn't get as long to work on this today as I had to get my 10k steps in, deep clean the bathroom, home ed my kid etc. But I've mainly worked on moving everything over to Visual Code Studio. I wish I did it right off the bat. The interface is sooo much better and I installed a pretty theme on it. My code is sooo much more organised and being able to see changes live as they happen is a game changer.
Doing it all in split screen on my little mac is a nightmare though so I've ordered a monitor which arrives tomorrow- yay! I swear not every entry will be about coding, it's just been the majority of my life right now.
June 24th
My monitor arrived! It fit so perfectly in the space! I got all the tidying done early as well as my 10k steps so I could spend the evening coding and here I am now, on the biggest screen I've ever worked on (I'm used to my tiny mac!) and everything is sooo much easier.
Anyway, this morning my kid opened a 'pride shop' in his room. I have no clue what it had to do with pride because it was just a bunch of random items organised for me to 'buy'—none pride related. But yayy to representation. He loves creating little 'events' for me to wake up to. Usually it's surprise parties or shows. So cute.
In other news my first crochet stall of the summer is literally next week, I always get so nervous even though I've done it countless times. I really should get making stuff but there's sooo much I wanna add to this site and it's so addictive!
On the plus side, I am getting soo much quicker at setting up pages so hopefully that'll speed the process of getting all my pages up and running, then it'll just be a matter of adding entries and tweaking things.
June 26th
It's technically the 27th now as it's gone 2am but I wanted to get a quick entry in before bed. I have been sooo busy redoing my site. I practically started from scratch because my old code was so messy with no consistent theme. Now it's my fave colour (lilac) and just screams me much more than the other one did. My family is probs getting bugged at me showing them every tiny little update I make to this site but I'm so proud that I can actually do it! When I started learning HTML in May I could never see myself being able to do anything past putting a header and some basic pictures on a page.
Anyway, life has been semi-busy I guess. My kid (I feel like I need to give him a code name for this site bc it feels weird saying his name but also weird calling him a literal baby goat) but anyway, he got a certificate at gym yesterday which was cute. The gym had disco lights in the high ceiling to celebrate and he asked the teacher how she got the lights up there as it's so high. The teacher told him she has secret wings and I'm not joking when I tell you he couldn't stop asking about them. I tried explaining she was just joking but he was insistant that she really does have them 😂 Maybe she really does. Who am I to judge?
He did soooo much writing voluntarily today so that was good, it takes the pressure off of needing to do a crazy amount of home ed when he does writing and stuff himself. We have also made a kind of routine of going on the trampoline every evening together which is cute. There are a few games we play on there. One where I lay and roll side to side and he has to jump over me like a skipping rope, one where I become a tickle monster and chase him round the trampoline and one which is kind of like 'bop it' but with instructions like 'tuck','spin' etc. He enjoys it so much and it's really cute to spend time together while also getting steps in. Today we took his chalk outside and drew train tracks on the trampoline, he then brought out his toy trains and we roleplayed with them.
He's in his question phase at the moment and the questions he comes out with are so obscure sometimes, recently I've had, 'what's a mollusc?' (like bro I'm embarassed that I don't have a clue), 'what is urination?' WHILE IN THE TAXI (he 100% knows what this is btw!), 'what time is 6 o'clock?' and so on.
I'm so glad I have somewhere to write all this stuff and keep it in one place because I feel like I forget so much of what he says and I know I'll love looking at this down the line. Anyway, he goes to my mums tomorrow night so i'll probably pull an all-nighter coding because I'm painfully addicted. But for now, I should probably attempt to sleep- it's 2:20am ugh 😩
June 27th
Yoooo, my kid is at my mums at the mo so I've had sooo many hours to work on this site and I love how it's coming along! Earlier though when he was still at home I introduced him to culture... Club Penguin Culture. It's obviously not the original site but theres a club penguin site out there and I just had to show him. He's really interested in learning about what I did as a kid but I really never thought he'd find Club Penguin all that enternatining- it was peak entertainment back in the day. But he actually really loved it! The child within me was getting so excited that you don't need a membership for the cool clothes and decorations now!!
June 28th
Tonight my brother came to sleep as per my kids request (I'm actually gonna use code name Apple for my kid from now on btw). Apple is obsessed with his uncle so was excited for him to come round. We went to the park a for a while and then came back and bro introduced me to 'Grow a Garden' on Roblox. I'm ashamed to admit how addictive it was 🥲 So yeah we've just been playing that. I managed to add a whole nother page to this site today (graffiti) so I'm happy with that! God knows what I'm doing tomorrow. I hope it rains so I have an excuse to stay in. This hot weather is killing meeeeeeee. Especially when I'm trying to get my steps in!
June 30th
Hii, today has been a good day. Apple was soo good with home ed, getting all his spellings right and just really focused. We then played hospitals together where I pretended i'd broken my leg and he looked after me which was cute. He's also been keeping a diary for a few weeks now and writes in it every single day! I wish I'd have started a diary at that age, it'd be so interesting to look back at what I was doing at 7. I actually don't have much more to say today tbh, it's just been chill. I'm badly unprepared for my crochet stall in a few days but I can't bring myself to care. Anyway I think we're gonna go swimming tomorrow because I'm gonna die spending another day in this heat. I also might book another Butlins trip for September. We only went a few weeks back and while the customer service was dreadful, the pool/fair/park were sooo good and it's really cheap when the kids are back at school. It's literally worth it just to spend 5 days at the pool and Apple loved it. I'm soo badly exhausted today, no clue why. I was gonna sleep early but here I am writing this and I'm now gonna be finishing off my 'from the apple tree' landing page. Adiosss.
July 7th
I've had to abandon this website this past week because I had my first crochet stall on Thursday and needed desparately to prepare for it! (I won't even lie I'm kinda demotivated too because I have nooooo clue how to set up my art page) It went sooo much better than I expected, especially for being a little 2 hour school fete. I'm so happy with the outcome. I have another one this Sunday which is always my biggest one of the year so I'm both nervous and excited. I'll be happy to make enough to pay for Apples birthday, pay back my mum for the holiday we're going on soon and book a Butlins holiday for September. Any extra would be a huge bonus.
I feel Apple will be quite easy to shop for this year for ioned wantinghis birthday. He's obsessed with Peppa Pig (of course he is, after we decluttered all his Peppa toys) so he'd like some Peppa sets, he also would love a gaming chair for his desk, some Peppa Yoto cards. He a make your own perfume kit because Peppa makes her own, and some composition notebooks because he lovess writing about his days. He also would love some Minecraft add ons (so a voucher) and I think he'd like a doctor outfit as he loves roleplaying doctors with me latelty. So random but I also think he would really enjoy a label maker? Sounds so obscure but I can see him loving labelling things especially when roleplaying, like making a label for the 'train' (our kitchen chairs) that says where it's going or making a label for the 'medicine cream' which is actually my moisturiser.
Anyway, we've had a really decent week. We went swimming on Tuesday which was fun and soo good to get out of the heat. Today especially has been such a win all around. He did amazing with home ed so we got through it really quick. Then the Peppa colouring book/pens I ordered for him arrived so we both coloured and watched Peppa on my monitor which was chill, then he wanted to play hotels/doctors/trains roleplaying so we did that for ages. Then we got a takeaway which I NEVER do anymore since starting weight loss journey. I have stuck to under 1300cals with the exception of one day in Butlins when I had chips, and today. Two cheat days since April is such a giant win for me!! And I am soooo close to being 40lbs down which is the most I've ever lost! I think I'm gonna up my mounjaro though (I'm due a jab tonight) because it's just nottttt mounjaroing anymore on the lowest dose.
Tonight I plan to finish The Ultimatum and crochet as I haven't had any chance to today and I desperately need as much stock as poss for Sunday. Wish me luckkkkk!
July 13th
Hii, my crochet stalls are finalllllly over for the summer. Yayyyyy. It was only 4 but felt like soo much with how much I was having to constantly crochet. But it's done so I can get back to coding!! Yayyy. And playing Grow a Garden (it's actually embarassing how obsessed I am), and just spend more time with Apple in general. This morning he wanted me to play Minecraft with him so I made this cute little snail house and Apple copied it to make his own which was cute. We also played on the trampoline this evening and played a new game where we put balls on it and had to dodge them while jumping which he loved.
A friend of mine has recently started selling stickers she designs which is sooo cool, she's so creative. It inspired me to make some of my own (not to sell, just for my mac and lampposts) so today I printed some stickers of this Save Gaza sticker I recently saw on a lamppost in the town over. I put one on my mac and am going to stick the other two on lampposts in my city. I also printed a couple of stickers of the frogs I crochet. You can't tell in the photo but they have a shiny layer on top with kinda irridescent moving heart thingies that makes them look all shiny and pretty (again inspred by aforementioned friend who made shiny ones). In fact, lemme link her website, she's so arty I'm always in awe of her stuff.
I added the out of conTEXT page to the site to put random messages I've recieve that sound stupid out of context. There's just so much I keep thinking of adding. I wanna put a list of words I hate somewhere and maybe a page of Apple related stuff like his drawings and funny things he says.
July 17th
Hii, I've been veryyy active on my website and very quiet on the journal section. I've been working on adding a page of things I considered buying but didn't, so thats finally up and I'm really happy with it. Coding has been most of my life at the moment, I'm getting so much done every day. I also noticed I have like 9 followers on neocities?! I didn't expect anyone to follow this silly little site tbh so that was exciting.
On an unrelated note, I'm finally -41.8lbs!! I'm sooo happy with that! Ermm what else? It's Apple's birthday in less than a month, help. He wants a sibling so bad which I will never be giving him (soz Apple) but also he keeps asking about a pet. I think he sees the house as kinda empty just us. I'm not a fan of most animals but I am strongly considering a budgie, I've owned two before and loveeee birds so much. My mum also has one so I trust it'd be in good hands if we went away ever. I haven't made any promises as I need to be certain and have a good spacey set-up but he said if he gets one he would call it gingerbread which is actually the cutest. If we do it, I'm going to work veryy hard to tame it as my mums one used to sit on our heads/laptops/shoulders and just be so comfortable and interactive with us so I'd want to encourage similar. So yeah maybe we'll be adding little Gingerbread to our family in the next month? You might even find a 'fan page' for him on here if and when the time comes.
Speaking of Apple, he's honestly just so polite it makes me so proud. He thanks me for everything right now. 'Thank you for tidying the house mummy,' when I didn't even think he'd been paying attention to what I was doing, just 'thank you's for everything. He also makes me laugh when he uses words out of context because he doesn't quite understand what they mean. I was tidying his bedroom today and he said 'no mummy! Stop tidying, that's so embarassing! I help'. He doesn't grasp the word embrassing but uses it often, as well as 'boring' which he takes to mean a descriptor of anything he's not keen on- 'moths are boring!'
I can't believe it's the six weeks holidays after tomorrow. No home ed for Apple for 6 entire fat weeks 🥳 We're off to Haven on Monday too so that'll be fun. Anyway, its gone midnight and I want to get an 'early' (before 3am) night tonight, adiossss.
July 21st
Hii, we've arrived at Haven! We might as well live here at this point, the amount we come. Today just consisted of swimming/food shop/entertainment and I saw my favourite animal which I was soo excited about. I lovvee squirrels, I feel like they're different to other animals, like it feels special to see one because it's not that common an occurence and they're so fast, and I love the way they eat. I wish it was socially acceptable to keep them as pets. I chose the room with the window overlooking the forest trees so hopefully I see more. We saw a wild rabbit too.
God knows what we're doing tomorrow, I'm sooo exhausted and its only day 1. I'm also soo excited to have a cheat meal one of the days we're here as I'm always soo strict with staying under 1300 cals every single day.
Anyway, it's pretty late now so I'm gonna go read. I'm reading Ready Player One at the mo as my mum listened to the audiobook and recommended it to me. It's okay but kinda juvenile I feel? I know the slang is to make it seem as though its written from a teen perspective but it's making me cringe.
July 22nd
Today we went on a rowing boat which was sooooo fun. I've wanted to do it for ages since I saw people rowing last year in Cambridge (and was sooo jealous of them). It was so ridculously picturesque and although I was terrible at it, I had such a good time. I cannot believe Apple wasn't scared! He's usually scared of anything he finds quite precarious and it was defo wobbly but he was absolutely fine. I feel the videos we took there are the first ones I've had of myself where I can notice the weight loss so thats gooood. The smell of the chips along the beach and the Papa Johns pizza on site it torture though! Tomorrow will be my cheat meal day, cannot waitttt. Anyway, since we had such a good time rowing I might check if they hire rowing boats near us or if we could get an inflatable kayak type thing as we live right near loads of rivers. I actually saw one SO cheap in Morrisons the other day so it's tempting, like even if we used it once it'd be cheaper than a hire probably. Idk I'm kinda scared it'd sink or tip over it being inflatable? But it would probably be easier to row as it's lightweight and not a heavy wooden boat. I'd loveee to take a kayak out on the river and just read in it. Like how chill would that be? 😭
August 9th
Yooo, I've been so unbelievably busy lately and have proper neglected this site as a result. I've taken so many photos to use on it but haven't got around to uploading them. The last I wrote, we were at Haven. We're obviously back and I'm now back in contact with one of my 
from back in the day which is soo good because I finally have company outside of my mum. She's been round loads and I'm loving the company. She has guinea pigs and that helped massively when getting my own because I had someone to ask advice. So yeah, spoilerrrr, we got guinea pigs! They're called Honey and Gingerbread because we planned on getting girls but when we went to Pets at Home to just 'have a look' I ended up falling in love with two boy guinea pigs up for adoption. They're 9 months old and I LOVE them soooo much. I'm not usually an animal lover but honestly I adore them.
I get them out every day for a couple of hours and they're still in the process of getting used to me. Gingerbread is a lot braver (the white one) but Honey is a wimp at the mo. It can take a while to tame guinea pigs though so I'm being patient. I'm so tempted to get a hamster mainly because I love how their enclosures are landscaped but I'm still undecided about that one as it'll be another potential pet bill thrown into the mix.
August 20th
the chaos has finally calmed a little. Apple's birthday happened. It was Minecraft themed (idc if it's tacky, it's what he chose) and I was so busy making the decor and buying last minute pressies. He had an amazing day though and his favourite presents ended up being his slide and his walkie talkies. Although his wireless headphones have had so much use too.
My friend is on holiday at the mo, canny wait for her to get back because I got used to her being round most of the time. Ermmm what else?? Oh yeah I ordered a digital camera by accident (on purpose). My sister has been using her partners digital camera they've had since 
and the photos from it look so nostalgic, and I love how small it is. Sooo I accidentally got onto researching digital cameras on Tiktok and settled with the Kodak PIXPRO FZ55 which from what I've seen takes the most stunning photos even prior to any filters or editing. It arrives tomorrow, I can't wait to take it on our holiday. W're off to Butlins again in September as Grey's been asking non stop to go back since our last visit but this time my friend is coming which is great too because she can drive and I won't be what feels like the only parent on my own at the entertainment. We can get such retro looking beach photos on the new camera so I really can't wait. Everyone said I should just use the Canon I have which is tbf a very decent one, but also VERY heavy. Plus, the lens I have for it is very zoomed in which makes it only ideal really for portraits.
I'll update on the camera when it gets here!! It's like 1:56am now so I should probably start reading myself to sleep. Byeeeeeee.
August 21st
My brother slept round last night, we mainly played Roblox like the child I am. We also had the guinea pigs out for
Ooooo good news, my friend comes home from holiday today yayyy. So happy.
October 5th
Yoooo, it's been over a month.. oops. I kinda neglected this site. I have a huge issue with obsessing over a hobby and abandoning it once it's run it's course and that kinda happened to coding. But I don't want to completely give up on it, and I'm going to try and get back on it.
Things have been busy but also not busy at all? I've hung out with my bff a lot, been home eding my kid, reading, crocheting, looking after the piggies and preparing for a hamster. 
It's probably been so long that I never even mentioned getting a hamster but I've been preparing for over a month, getting a hugeeee enclosure and sooooo many supplies. I'm waiting on one delivery and I'll finally be able to get my ball of fluff. Apple suggested the name 'Meadow' which I'm obsessed with so Meadow will shortly be joining the fam.
My current obsession is wanting to decorate my house really artsy. 
Like decorate it with one off things i find at the charity shop or things I create. I think it'd be cool to point to most of your decor and say 'I made that'. But I also have a massive problem with clutter, as in I cannot cope with it whatsoever. My room is plain white with absolutely no decor or colour because adding any at all overwhelms me. I think it's a genuine problem, similar to how hoarding is but I guess the opposite? I'm addicted to getting rid of things. Anyway, I kinda exposure therapied myself today by crocheting a star bunting to go in my room. Lets see how long it lasts before I can't cope with the sight of it!
October 26th
Okay, so I'm clearly severely slacking with any upkeep of this website but I still love that I have it to pop back to and update on my life, it'll be fun to look back on.
Currenly I'm in the midst of another major decluttering mood- which is 24/7 tbh but right now it's extra bad (good??). I'm literally decluttering anything and everything I don't absolutely need and it actually fascinates me that I have anything left. I sold my dvd collection and dvd player so I could get rid of the shelf in my lounge and I'm about to take down the other shelves in my lounge so the walls will basically be completely blank. Idk why visual clutter drives me so so crazy. This can't be normal I feel. But I've never got rid of something and regretted it so whats the harm? (besides my diaries but they told my whole teen life). I don't get too attached at all to physical items. Getting rid of them feels like a huge weight off of me. Having less things to clean/find space for. When Apple grows up, I imagine I'll live in a genuinely empty house. I'd be happy without even a bedframe in fact.
This is part of the reason (among many) that I don't see myself ever getting in a relationship. I know the clutter would drive me insane. Even if they just wanted some minimal decor, that'd probably drive me insane too. Not to mention how content I am with my own company.
In other news, I officially joined the Green Party. Best £6 I've ever spent. Zack Polanski actually gives me hope for this country.
In other, other news, I regret the name I chose for myself lolll. Not too badly, like it's fine and a TRILLION times better than my birth name. But whyyyyy didn't I go for Parker ): I feel like Alex was a safe option which I felt was extremely gender neutral and wouldn't make anyone uncomfortable. But ugh I do regret not chosing Parker every day. I use it in some online spaces, mostly VR, and hearing myself be referred to as Parker by people who don't know me as anything else is kinda coool. But people already sacrificed enough trying to get used to my current name so I'm not going through the process again.
November 4th
Soooo, I currently have no hot water or heating ughhh. It would happen in the winter wouldn't it.
My house is icey cold and the housing people aren't even coming out to look at it for another 4 days and that isn't even to fix the issue. So I'm bouncing between my house and mums to get bit of heat and a shower every now and then.
Besides that, lifes chill. Been crocheting loads, watching Big Brother, continuing on this weight loss journey. It's cool having the confidence to wear things I wouldn't have before. Today I wore a button up shirt under a tshirt which was a vibe. Though the bulkiness of the layers made me look boxy but yolo.
